Christianity's view on marriage is often misunderstood. Jesus quoted the Old Testament passage "The two shall become one flesh." In our world of advanced knowledge, we know that one plus one can never equal one, so was Jesus wrong or crazy?
1 + 1 < > 1
Was Jesus advocating that one of the 2 marriage partners must lose his or her own identity (0+1 = 1) or that marriage is really a 50/50 relationship (0.5+0.5 = 1)? No. Neither partner should relinquish his or her identity; marriage is not a 50/50 relationship; and furthermore, we are not incomplete and made complete in marriage (as if we were only half alive until we are married). Marriage is a relationship in which 2 complete people become one.
1 * 1 = 1
Jesus was stating that 2 complete people form a single union and bond in a single marriage. My identity is still intact, and the identity of my wife is still intact; in fact, a perfect marriage is one that allows me to be myself.
0*a = 0 -> zero is a selfish number in multiplication (or a sink)
1*a = a -> 1 is the identity of multiplication.
My identity is found in Christ, and I am only myself in Christ who gives me life and breath.
I can do nothing without Christ (John 15:5).
I can do all things with Christ (Phil 4:13).
The trouble with marriage is that as individuals, none of us is perfect. We are a fraction of what we should be. God designed us to be complete, a perfect 1 as it were, but we don't meet the standard (Rom 3:23). In mathematics, when 2 fractions are multiplied, the result is not closer to 1; it is closer to 0.
My bride is a pretty good person; let's give her a 0.8. I'm not quite as good as she is, but I'm still pretty good, so let's give me a 0.7.
Our relationship is then defined by the multiplication of our own lives: 0.8 * 0.7 = 0.56. The result clearly indicates that our marriage is further from unity than either of us individually. My imperfection and sin compounded with that of my bride causes my marriage to be farther from Godly than either of us would have been alone. This is why the marriage relationship is so difficult.
Interestingly enough, the marriage relationship can never be closer to unity than the weaker member (remember 1 * a = a), so even if one person is perfect, the marriage will still only be as close to Godly as the imperfect person. Since none of us is perfect, we can all improve our marriages by improving our own walk with Christ.
